I Am Sam, Sam I Am
by NPD18
Summary: Sam wakes up one morning in a room she doesn't recognise with a guy she does not know, and a child she doesn't remember having. Will she ever work out exactly who she is? MS relationship


**I am Sam, Sam I am**

**A/N:** Another lame title, but that's because at school me and my friend Katia went mad sticking labels to everyone that said 'I am Sam' and when she stuck one over the pic of Poppy on my record book, I immediately felt a fanfic coming on! Then I was skating, and the case struck me… so here we are! Anyhow, I have been on a fanfic hiatus (and yes, you can expect the next chapter of Heat very soon), so this one is maybe not up to my usual standards or whatever, so be warned. This chapter is also VERY confusing, so I don't want to get a bunch of reviews saying 'I totally do not get this' because I KNOW lol.

_Things you should know before reading: _Set in my own little world, where Sam and Martin have their own little girl called Jen, who is now about a year and a half old, so this is probably something like season 4 if it existed lol. I loved writing with little Jen being there so much, I had to include her in this and now she's like an important character in this one, so I apologize. Other than that, it's the norm.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of it except for ickle Jen and of course the pink Sam I Am post-its ;)

-

Drumming her fingers along her desk, Samantha Spade waited for her computer to turn off. It was being unusually slow, and driving her mad since she couldn't leave it on, but really wanted to get her ass out of the office. They'd found the missing teacher, Colin Stokes and reunited him with his family who had almost given up hope after he had been missing for nearly 4 days. Case closed. Or at least it should have been, if it wasn't for the stupid computer taking an age to shut down. Glancing up at the photo of Sam's own little family which was on a shelf above the desk, she couldn't help smiling. They were the reason she wanted to get back.

"There you are," As if on cue, Martin Fitzgerald came and stood behind Sam's chair, and leant over, kissing the top of her head, "Having computer troubles?"

The small green light on the monitor fizzled out and the screen went blank, signalling that it was turned off. Finally. Turning round, Sam's lips met his and they gently kissed, "I'll just grab my stuff. Meet you outside?"

Nodding, Martin strolled out of the office, leaving her to slip her coat on and grab her purse. Taking one last look at the photo of her smiling family, Samantha sighed happily. In just a short while, she'd be able to see the real thing.

-

_Shut the hell up, _rolling over in bed, she tried to ignore the annoying beeping of a cell phone but found herself getting closer to it. Before she could grab a large hammer and smash the stupid thing, someone came out of the bathroom looking as if he'd just had a shower, and picked up the cell phone, smiling cheerfully at her before answering.

"Martin Fitzgerald,"

As Martin spoke to whomever it was calling him, she sat up. It wasn't until she'd finished stretching, that she realized it wasn't just the two of them in the room. A large crib was in the corner of the room, the plastic kind with soft mesh on all four sides that was usually what kids slept in just before they were old enough for a bed. Sure enough, two gorgeous blue eyes peeked over the top of the bars, a smile underneath a teeny freckled nose. The toddler's light-brown/blonde hair was in two bunches at the sides of her head and had been tied with pink ribbons to match the cute little pink pyjama suit which was covered in little bunny rabbits.

"Guess who woke me up at 3 this morning?" Martin slipped into the bed, still only dressed in a towel, obviously having finished the phone conversation, "I lost her pacifier… any ideas?"

Barely even hearing Martin's words, she stared at the child who was attempting to climb out of her crib, but obviously couldn't. The little girl was such a cutie, she couldn't help but look at her, and she felt some kind of bond with the child, who had now fallen over and onto the bottom of her crib, though it obviously didn't hurt because she continued to smile. She pulled herself up again.

"Sam?"

She lay back, so that her head was on his chest, and looked up at him. It felt weird, but it felt right, so she was content. Everything in the room looked different, and there wasn't a single thing she recognised, but it didn't matter so much, at least she now knew one thing, "Ummm… I haven't seen it,"

The sound of Sam's own voice startled her. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but it had definitely not been like that. Yawning, she felt around for the bump on the top of her head, and winced as her fingers touched it. She had only noticed it whilst stretching, and had no idea how she had ended up with it. It sure did hurt though. Just as she was about to turn to Martin and ask him a question, two cell phones both began to ring at the same time. Watching him go get his, Sam did the same, and put it to her ear.

"Sam… Fitzgerald?" Martin pulled a face, and Sam could feel her cheeks going red, but she didn't know what else to say. They had a child, surely they were married? Still yawning, she listened to the man on the other end, "Yeah… okay… umm see you then,"

She hung up. _Luckily that wasn't too hard to bluff my way through, _she thought, looking at Martin once again, knowing he was about to say something. He too had finished his conversation, and was putting his cell phone away. A confused look on his face, he turned to her, "Sam Fitzgerald? What the hell? Since when did you trade in Spade for Fitzgerald?"

_OH! Spade… Sam Spade… oh great, someone had a sense of humour on them, didn't they? _Sam rubbed the back of her neck, and thought of some sort of reply that would at least make a little sense. Nothing came. _Maybe I should just tell him the truth… that I don't have a clue who he is, who the kid is… or even who I am?_

"I… I don't know… I didn't mean to… Umm… I better be going to work, see you later?" She stood up and started towards the door.

Martin reached out for her arm, "In your nightdress? Anyway, I thought we'd catch a cab together like we usually do?"

Glancing down at her blue silk nightdress, Sam blushed yet again, and turned back towards the closet. Upon opening it, she was welcomed by a whole rack full of suits, some of them obviously his, but a lot of them were probably hers too. Shifting through a bunch, she picked out a plain black one, way too small to be his, and selected a plain white blouse to go underneath. Before getting dressed, she turned round; her clothes draped over one arm, and lifted the little girl out of her crib. The child felt weird in Sam's arms, and she found herself putting her back down again within seconds of picking her up. She looked sad, like she was going to cry. Uncomfortably, Sam leaned over and kissed the top of the girl's head, hoping to make her smile again.

-

"Sorry we're late Jack, Jen was playing up most of the night," Martin took a seat in the bull pen next to his boss, and Sam sat in the next one over.

Jack, in a gruff voice, answered, "I know it well… now since you're here, we've got a new case. 14 year old girl, Catherine Murphy, gone missing from an ice rink downtown, her best friend reported it after they were supposed to meet up the next day and she never showed up,"

Pulling a face, the woman next to Sam looked as if she was about to say something, but was thinking it over in her head first. Her eyes were on Sam, who was rolling her pen up and down the desk, but her mind obviously wasn't as she soon darted her eyes away and back to the front of the room, where Jack was sitting, "And Catherine's parents didn't notice when their daughter didn't show up?"

"They're on a visit to relatives over in Miami, won't be back for several days, left Catherine's older brother, Michael in charge," He explained, nodding towards the picture he'd pinned up next to the one of the missing girl, "And like most 19 year old college-drop-outs, Michael was too drunk to notice his sister hadn't come home,"

Sam continued to look down at her pen, and didn't say a word, even whilst Jack gave them all their assignments. _Checking her computer history… how interesting, _she thought, mentally rolling her eyes. Now that she actually understood what her job was, she wished she had phoned in sick.

-

The whiteboard, a huge thing covered in writing and red lines. Sam stood in front of it, a pen in one hand, and a page of notes in the other. Carefully, she wrote along the red line that represented 11: 30 the day before, and jotted down what a witness had told her, which was that Catherine had been arguing with a man in an alleyway 2 hours before she had gone to the ice rink with Lauren. So busy writing on the timeline, she didn't notice Martin enter the empty office and come up behind her.

"Well that was a waste of time," He stood directly behind her, smiling as he read what she'd written, "Absolutely nothing to help us at all up at the ice rink,"

Sam, who had now picked up on everyone's names nodded, "Viv still talking to Lauren?"

Nodding, Martin slipped his hands around Sam's waist. She had finished writing, and turned round though rather stiffly. Not smiling anymore, he let go of her and rubbed his forehead, a look of confusion and disappointment on his face. Her face sad, confused and worried all at the same time, Sam raised her eyes up to his, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Samantha, that's exactly what I should be asking you! Don't think I haven't noticed you staring at Jennifer, not listening to me properly, almost going to work in your night clothes, forgetting your name AND hardly touching our child at all. What is your problem? How am I supposed to help you if I don't know what's making you act so weird!"

Her chin quivering, Samantha looked at Martin, "Don't raise your voice at me! **I** don't even know what is going on, so how the hell am I supposed to tell you? I don't even **know** you!"

"What?"

"You heard what I said," A single tear running down her cheek, Sam spoke softly, "I don't even know who you are,"

A/N: Hopefully it will make more sense next chapter :)


End file.
